How to write your own life story when you don't think you're a writer

You don't need to be a writer to write your life story. You need to be the person who was there. Start with one small, clear memory, write it the way you'd tell it to a friend, and stop. Do that once a week. In a year, you'll have fifty stories, which is a book.

Don't start at the beginning

"I was born in 1952 in a small town" is where most people start, and where most people give up. Birth is the part you remember least.

Start instead with something vivid: the smell of your grandmother's kitchen, your first day at work, the day you got your first bicycle. You can put the chapters in order later.

Write the way you talk

The best life stories sound like the person who wrote them. If you'd say "we were poor as church mice", write that. If you'd laugh while telling a story, let the writing be funny. Don't try to sound like a novel.

A useful trick: record yourself telling the story on your phone first, then write down what you said. It's often better than what you'd have written from scratch.

Small details make it real

"We had a happy childhood" is easy to forget. "Every Sunday my father made pancakes and burned the first one on purpose so he could eat it himself" is not.

Ask yourself: what could I see, hear and smell? What exactly did people say? Those details are what your grandchildren will remember.

Use prompts

A blank page is hard. A question is easy. Some to try:

• What was the best present you ever got?
• Describe a teacher you remember.
• What did you do on summer evenings when you were twelve?
• Tell the story of how you met your partner.
• What is something you were afraid of that turned out fine?
• What did a normal Saturday look like when your children were small?

Our list of questions to ask parents and grandparents works just as well if you ask them of yourself.

It's fine to leave things out

A life story isn't a confession. You decide what goes in. Some people write about hard times because it helps; others prefer to keep them private. Both are fine.

Keep each story short

Five hundred words is plenty for one memory. Short stories are easier to write and much easier to read. Readers who love one will read the next.

Don't edit as you go

Write the whole memory first, then fix it the next day. If you stop to correct every sentence, you'll lose the thread.

Getting from stories to a book

Once you have a pile of stories, group them into chapters by time or by theme: childhood, work, family, places you've lived. Add a few photos. That's your book.

If you'd like a guide through the whole thing, Vibitely's Life Story asks you interview questions at your own pace and turns your answers into chapters, a website and a print-ready A5 book. You can try the first chapter for free.