All Souls' Day: remembering the people we've lost
TL;DR
On 1 and 2 November, millions of families remember the people they've lost. In Lithuania, Vėlinės falls on 2 November; in Poland, people visit graves on All Saints' Day, 1 November, and Zaduszki follows on 2 November. Families clean the graves, bring flowers and light candles, and at night whole cemeteries glow. For people who live far from home, there are simple ways to take part too.
On 1 and 2 November, millions of families remember the people they've lost. In Lithuania, Vėlinės falls on 2 November; in Poland, people visit graves on All Saints' Day, 1 November, and Zaduszki follows on 2 November. Families clean the graves, bring flowers and light candles, and at night whole cemeteries glow. For people who live far from home, there are simple ways to take part too.
The tradition
All Saints' Day on 1 November and All Souls' Day on 2 November have been kept for centuries across much of Europe and beyond. Customs differ from place to place, but the heart of it is the same: going to the graves of family members, tidying them, and spending a moment with the people who are no longer here.
In Lithuania and Poland, the candles are the image most people remember: thousands of small lights in coloured glass, left burning into the night. Many families travel long distances to be at the family graves, and visit several cemeteries in one weekend.
Ways to remember at the grave
- Clean the grave and the stone, and bring fresh flowers or greenery.
- Light a candle for each person, or one for the whole family.
- Visit the graves of people who have no one left to visit them.
- Take children along and tell them who their great-grandparents were.
When you live far away
Many people who moved abroad miss the family graves most at this time of year. Some things you can do from anywhere:
Ask a relative to light a candle for you, and send a photo of it.
Light a candle at home, next to a photo of the person.
Visit a local cemetery. Many people abroad go to the nearest cemetery and light a candle there, sometimes at a memorial for their own country.
Light a candle online. If your family has an online memorial page, you can light a virtual candle and leave a few words, wherever you are.
Call someone. A parent or grandparent at home will often want to talk about the people being remembered.
A good time for stories
These days are a natural time to talk about the people we've lost. Older relatives often remember more when they're standing by the grave or looking at old photos. If you've been meaning to ask about a great-grandparent, this is a good moment. Our list of questions to ask parents and grandparents may help.
Making a memorial page
Some families use these days to start an online memorial page for someone, so relatives everywhere have one place to visit, read their story and leave a message. Vibitely's In Memory of is free to create and share, with candles and a guestbook, and works in many languages, including Lithuanian and Polish.